she looked like the before picture.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
