AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
