hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
