I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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