these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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