I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He is an equal opportunity slut.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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