I heard we made out
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
