So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
