dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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