I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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