Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
