I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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