I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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