Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
