WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
