that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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