He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
