How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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