I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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