"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
