God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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