Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
