Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
