No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
well you can't waste a boner
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
