On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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