Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
