just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
