I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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