He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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