1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
