Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
