you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
