When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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