Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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