So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
