You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
