There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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