YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
