TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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