my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sext me about skeletons
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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