did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
