Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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