Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
