YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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