at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
