I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
