i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
