Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
