yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
