but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
