I need to stop coming to work sober
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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