Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
