I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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