well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
